Cancer patients are soldiers too. We ship out to an unknown foreign place which is a hospital. We shave our heads we prepare for battle with Ivs as our guns and chemo as our ammunition. We fight for not only for our lives but for everybody at home waiting for our arrival. We lose our best friends who are also comrades in this war for survival. Forcingly moving on while we are still here fighting this enemy. We have no choice but to keep moving but also we keep moving for those we have lost. It can sometimes drive us crazy being stuck in a place where people are sure to pass away. We are stuck in a reality that is unbelievably terrifying but we know, even in a reality like this there is a special kind of bond with the ones we know and have known and the ones we will come to know in this life. A loss is still a victory and a victory requires loss.
We suffer from sleepless nights we suffer from PTSD. We cry wishing our friends were still here and at the same time asking why we’re still here. Almost driving ourselves crazy because we have questions without any possible answers. Our brains sometimes feel so over loaded due to the multiple “what ifs” “what if I didn’t have cancer”. It’s something we know the answer to at times but at other times it’s confusing. Nonetheless we are soldiers too, we fight just like real soldiers.