I Am Not Stuck In The Past.

People think that I’m stuck in my past because I talk about it too much. People think I’m depressed but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I survived cancer twice and I’ve survived things I shouldn’t have and I’ve lost things I shouldn’t have. There was a point when I was a kid I was depressed because I didn’t know how to deal with the anything that happens to me. As I got older I started to learn how to apply and accept everything. To look at my past as a super positive in my life. I am not stuck in my past I am simply proud of my achievement and it is the best achievement I will ever obtain. I have defied doctors and more importantly, I cheated death multiple times. So I ask you. Are you depressed about your past or are you turning it into a positive? Only you can make that decision.

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Strong

Strong people make sense of their past, they take the little pieces mostly the mistakes they have made because that’s what most people will not face or accept. Strong people study everything about their past experiences especially the bad then They start to put two and two together. They find reasoning behind the mistakes and they learn from them, which creates a sense of purpose and motivation to focus on a certain kind of life they want to live, the kind people they want to be to be around, who they are really meant too be. Strong people see their past as a whole and they do not ignore the things that have gone bad. Mistakes will be made and realizing that and accepting that only then will you become truly strong person.

I Earned My Life.

I earned to be living on this planet today. All the times I have faced death which was multiple times in my life due to Cancer and an extensive medical history. I am not supposed to be here. A fifteen-year fight for my life I have earned my life. People don’t really have to go through circumstances I have but no one can take that away from me. I deserve to make my own decisions, I have a right to do what I please as does everyone else but people are afraid to say it because they don’t feel worthy of what they want or think of an excuse to hold them back. I know exactly what I have sacrificed and what I have lost, I am not afraid to say I earned my life. Anyone can say anything to me but deep down I am the only one who knows me best and my eyes are locked on my goals in life with nothing clouding those goals. No one can tell me what I am going to do, how I am going to do it. This is my life and I have earned it.

What Do I Have To Do?

What do I have to do for you to realize I am not like you? I do not value the same things you do such as money, because to most people money is worth more than life I do not believe in that. I refuse to believe there is no more good people on this planet I refuse to believe humanity is dead. I have been so close so many times to death, I’ve lost precious people in my life which as made the structure of my life a little abnormal. Which has influenced me to be the way that I am today because without me certain people who are experiencing the same things I have, wouldn’t have any kind of direction. I live only because of my beliefs and values.

Why Doesn’t Childhood Cancer Get Any Attention?

Everyone knows about Breast Cancer Awareness Month which is October but no one knows about September and what September signifies, Childhood Cancer Awareness Month which from my observations no one is aware of this except for the people who have children who have, had or has passed from cancer. Why is that our kids and our babies are going through cancer and no one is aware of it, its so infuriating to me. Losing my friends from cancer and seeing parents suffer the pain of losing their 5 year old child. It's heartbreaking to see anyone go through this but experiencing this is unfathomable and not a damn person is aware of childhood cancer.

My Faith And My Purpose.

My life experiences have taught me a lot about faith and belief in god specifically but that is where my faith lies. I was taught while in the hospital sick with cancer to believe in god and to put my life in gods hands and at first being so young I didn't really know what that meant but as I grew and started to realize what was really happening to me. I learned what having cancer meant, I learned that I was a survivor of something not a lot of people live through or at the time I thought I knew what surviving cancer meant. I wanted to forget having cancer and I wanted to forget about the friends I've lost, the scars I have I wanted to forget everything after it was all done. I got to that point when I was sixteen, the end of my medical issues with a kidney transplant my gateway of being "normal" but even after that something just didn't feel right. It was like the more I tried to forget the more I deteriorated, I was even more miserable trying to forget than I was going through the things I did. The one goal I worked so hard to get too and I found nothing. Now that is only when I try to forget my past.

Embracing my past and focusing on my past dissecting it is what fulfills me and makes me happy. I can figure out things and find better answers for the same things I've went through and help someone who is lost in the beginning of their journey similar to mine, be there for them. The reason I am happy doing this is because my faith in god has lead me to where I am now in my life, the same reason he let me go on living my life and helping people who need it. When no one else is there to even to begin to understand what it is they are about to endure and the only way to know is to go through it yourself. I am blessed to be here and to help people, kids, teens and even adults with anything they need while they go through cancer. This is where my faith lies and this is my god given purpose.

Life.

Life is a test of endurance not strength if you never give up no matter how many times life knocks you down and you choose to get back up, you will never be defeated by life. Life is asking you a question and the question it’s asking is, “Are you going to conquer me or are you going to let me hold you back?”and The only person who can answer that is you and you alone no one else can ever make that decision for you. You will always feel uncertain until you take the necessary risk that are worth taking despite the uncertainty. In order too beat the negativity that comes with life is to create a positive mental state and to ignore outside opinions and too take real control of your own life, make life your friend not your enemy. 

People are lead to believe that life is bad towards them but as soon as people realize that life is what it is, and that life is not easy, then and only then will you take real control of your life. The “bad” things that occur in life is as normal as things can get, it will push you around, until you realize what’s really important in your life once you do that then you will be able to see life as a best friend and ally which grants you the time to achieve your goals. Once and for all life will be yours.

Why I’m So Dedicated To Childhood Cancer.

Having cancer as a child myself, the perspective of a child patient is way different then the perspective of the parent watching their child having to go through  this is unfathomable. I don’t remember anything but laying in a bed with needles in my arm before I was made aware of what really happened to me. The nativity of these kids with cancer is something really unbelievable, they are so unaware that even in death they stay smiling and laughing when everyone around them knows the implications of having cancer. Most people never see something so amazing and I would even go as far as to say something so magical. You won’t ever witness a miracle until you see these kids, something so bad turned into something so innocent.

My goal with The Cure is to make everyone aware of not only childhood cancer but the kids who are so amazingly happy going through what they are going through. They can teach you how life should be lived and show you the things you stress about are irrelevant to living life. Everything in this article I have seen with my own two eyes and this is real. I cannot think of a bigger impact on my life than the kids going through cancer they represent life’s true purpose, they simply have no worries.

Its Not You, Its Life

People claim that they have been through something that no one can understand and they actually think they are entitled to special treatment because of everything they have been through which I am not saying you haven’t been in a dark place and you haven’t been hurt. People don’t realize everything you go through and all your suffering and you think your not “normal” and your “crazy”, your not either of those things, you are simply living life. Get over yourself and live your life and don’t give up.